"It's okay"

How many times do we hear this? Often, correct? But how many times when we say it do we actually really mean it? It's almost as if it is programmed for us to say it. And we say it, it's monotone and robotic. I know the times I have said it, I didn't mean it. It was just a normal natural response. A quick response to something or said to just get past the situation to avoid speaking about something. Or to avoid conflict.  I was never good with conflicts either. My emotions get the best of me. And I see myself in my daughter very much.

Those who know Sarai, know that she has a very hard time identifying and expressing her emotions. Which would in many cases lead her into have a sensory meltdown. She could not tell us what was bothering her or making her feel uncomfortable and that would cause her to lose control and just melt down.

It was very hard for the both of us and especially for others around us who were not aware of what was going on. And then it was overwhelming for me to have to explain to everyone what was going on. I mean, should I have to owe everyone an explanation? It was upsetting.

Until one day, I just looked at Sarai. I looked at her and saw her eyes and how lost and sad they were because she had no control. I think she also felt maybe afraid to release her emotions or say how she felt. I am still learning and still trying to understand her. I looked at her, I told her to sit down with me and I looked her in the eyes. I hugged her very tight and I said "Baby, it's okay. It is okay. It is okay if you are sad. It is okay if you are upset. It is okay if you are happy. It is okay if you don't feel like talking. It's okay if you don't want to say hello to someone. It is okay. Mommy will not be sad. Mommy will not be upset. And if you want to scream and cry and yell, it is okay. Go ahead. And Mommy will hug you afterward. Because I love you."

Kids face a lot of stress. Yea! Kids have stress! It isn't just adults?! They have stressful days. I know sometimes as adults we forget and don't realize and that is play too. We shouldn't be so hard on ourselves and it's important to implement that to our kids as well.

Now to help tackle on the stress and anxiety Sarai would feel, we had to come up with an action plan? Do any of you have an action plan for you and your child/children? You know planning ahead just in case? Well, I have one. Most of the time it will help but then there are days when life can be just too much, you know what I mean? And you just HAVE to let it go.

When I see that Sarai is anxious I can already foresee what will happen. So I usually pack things in a bag when we are out. I  will bring snacks, preferably crunchy and hard. Her sensory issues give her a hard time eating anything soft. So I pack baby carrots (or cold carrots as she calls them), apple slices, chips, a granola bar etc. I will have bottled water and apple juice. Some of her favorite toys, paper to draw and her tablet. She also has a chewy that she wears as a necklace for when she feels anxious. She has a tendency to mouth everything. AND YES...YES I GIVE HER THE TABLET. You can judge me all you want. But it keeps her grounded especially when we arent home. We also take deep breaths. And she has become so good at taking her deep breaths.  And last to the action plan ....we do the SENSORY DIET. I will provide what it includes and it's definition below. AND IT HELPS SO MUCH! I hope that for anyone who read's this and feels their child may have a Sensory Processing Disorder that this will help. You don't need a doctor to do this. You as a parent can do this with your child.

"A sensory diet is a group of activities that are specifically scheduled into a child's day to assist with attention, arousal and adaptive responses. The activities are chosen for that child's needs based on sensoryintegration theory. ... These activities are designed to produce a positive effect on a child." - CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW 

The Sensory Diet

It gets better. I have to believe that. I have to have faith so my daughter can have hope that it will all get better.

“You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” -Christopher Robin